Lions and tigers and bears.

Merry Christmas everyone – I hope your holidays have been filled with laughter and joy. Mine definitely have been, although my messed up brain hasn’t been dealing with it very well. The last four or five days have been filled with people and noise, and today I feel like one exposed nerve. I’ve gotten better the last few years, but this week I hit my limit. (I hate how that makes me sound. I love my family and am grateful for the time spent with them – but anxiety doesn’t care about what I want.)

I spent the day hiding out, watching a couple of my favourite movies. It’s how I deal – the familiarity helps me keep my cool. I can easily rewatch the same film a hundred times. Like The Wizard of Oz. It’s one of my Christmas go-to movies, and I can quote the whole thing. I love the book too (it’s different – go read it!).

So, having the opportunity to see the Andrew Lloyd Webber production? Epic awesomeness. My ticket was a Christmas present from mom and dad, and the show was today. I fought a panic attack on the way there, because no way was I missing it. Once in the building, I headed straight to my seat and finally relaxed when the lights dimmed and the familiar music started.

It was incredible. This was Dorothy’s professional debut, and she was perfect. The sets were impressive and the music was beautiful. Toto was being shy, which made for some cute moments. I loved it, and I’m so glad I went. And then on the way home I (quietly) lost my shit in the back seat. Social anxiety sucks. Panic attacks suck.

Tomorrow’s another day.


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